I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
