It was confusing and full of hummus
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize