I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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