You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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