remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
