And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
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I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
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I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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