i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
