he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
