You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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