He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
