i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
