I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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