Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
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as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
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im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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