So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
