dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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