That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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