Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
