the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
this hospital has no fireball
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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