You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
