I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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