it hurts more in the daytime
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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