i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Drake has all the answers
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize