Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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