i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
