I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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