Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
