Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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