Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
