Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
