Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
