Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
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were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
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