dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
