Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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