D3 body, D1 cock
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
