He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
