You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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