I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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