Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
