Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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