Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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