Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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