Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
40s are totally the cure
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
