just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
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You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
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TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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