i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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