he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize