Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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