Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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