I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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