You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
