they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
