you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
