She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
