i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
this boner is exhausting
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
