Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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