haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
