I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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