I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
