Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
