every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
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Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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